Where the fuck did all these birds come from?
Here I am, trying to have a meditative sulk by the goddamn pond and I can’t even hear myself think.
See, things just aren’t going very well right now. This t-shirt I just bought is way too fucking big, this stupid sweater’s still itchy, and my love life’s in the toilet. At least, I think it is. Actually, I don’t know what it is.
I met this guy the other day. Well, met isn’t the right word. I fucked this guy the other day. This amazing, sexy guy, that I almost fell in love with right then and there while we were doing the dirty, and it was all good, fun and happening.
But he hasn’t replied to my text. Okay, texts. I may have sent him too many texts and now I am freaking the fuck out.
I’m standing at the edge of this goddamn peaceful pond trying to calm myself the fuck down, and this huge flock of crows comes out of nowhere, and I can feel my stress levels going into high gear.
It’s a good thing I have my phone on vibrate because I probably wouldn’t have heard the text notification that just buzzed my ass.
A little flame of hope rises within me as I pull the phone from my pocket and check.
It’s him. He replied. I’m smiling and my heart is joining the cacophony of caws and screeches as I read:
You sent me like a gazillion texts you moron. Next time just call.